there's this thought on my mind, and in my soul, i can't define, but it's blinding.

Well then.... turbulence is expected...

Tonight's my last night.

I'm heading off tomorrow (Saturday) Morning at 6:20am, eastern time.

Arriving in LAX at 10:49 am pacific time.

I'm trying to make sure I've got everything, but I know I'm forgetting something.

Time flys.

I'm not in the mood to write.

I've got another question

another confession

what is this

that you think

I can do?

I've got another observation

no hesitation

what is this that

you always 

make me do

believe

i'm done

it's hopeless

yet so fun

to you

it seems

that nothing i can do

just in your dreams

and i

forget

that you're inside my head

and i won't live

to much

longer

(to much longer)

I've made a big decision

and with this ill break you

down

ill

make you

take you

break you

hate you

let you feel what

its like

down

on the ground

through my eyes youll see

what its like

to be me

inside

and out

you will cry in agony,

i swear

you wont

and not a single soul

will save you now.

(save...you...now..)

believe

i'm done

it's hopeless

yet so fun

to you

it seems

that nothing i can do

just in your dreams

and i

forget

that you're inside my head

and i won't live

to much

longer

I guess it's ok if you tell me not to say.

I guess it's ok if you turn and walk away.

And I know it's hard.

I know it's bad, but in the end, you'll make your way back home.

It's early.

My wrist hurts horribly.

Getting a tattoo on your wrist, then rolling around in your sleep banging it on things, kills in the morning.

I feel as if my arm was partially severed with a hacksaw. 

I just put lotion on it, and the cooling effect, is amazing.

I have to ship out a bunch of things today.

Hopefully it won't be too much.

I'm making some money off selling items.

To.

Well.

Nigeria?

HAH

Anticipation for Hallucination

I'm up early today, mostly because I'm getting ready to go out.

Not anytime soon, more around noon.

Either way I'm going to my tattoo artists friends house, and we're going to sit down and draw up a tattoo for myself.

I'm getting one on each wrist, and stil debating the knuckles.

If not my knuckles, my right inner forearm, because I already have something on my left.

Just to even things out, you know?

Today I'm writing in my blogspot, because on Livejournal, I have stalkers.

Yes, stalkers.

It's creepy.

Although I did post something there last night, which you should all go read by clicking here.

First off, I know for sure I'm getting 3 X's on each of my wrist.

The irony behind it all, is whilst talking to my friend, he compared it to the X's on Molson Beer bottles, which you can see here.

The irony comes into play with that fact that....well...they're going to represent

Straightedge-ness. (click the link)

They're going to be outlined in black, with a red center.

On the inside of my wrists.

Damn, it's going to be a weird sensation.

Alas, I want it, I'll deal.

Fortunately, Rob is a good friend of mine, and is going to do them for me, for free.

He's a well known tattoo artist in Charlotte,NC.

But he's on vacation.

Yay for me!

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

During, and after my tattoos, I'll be posting pictures, and etc.

I'll also give you guys a picture of his business card, as he's an excellent artist, and travels by word of mouth.

He comes to you.

Seriously.

Anywhere.

I've been having thoughts lately, and it just recently hit me.

(I'm a late bloomer)

I don't care what people think of me.

I'm going to start loving my own body.

Which will be hard, because I'm one insecure guy.

But I'll try.

Sorry for rambling.

Carry on.

Plural Moose, is mooses,

xxx

Nick

Loe yourself in your Pain

These walls are growing closer
with every single day
My sight is getting unclear
of what is in a name

I take it all away
But gain it back again
leaving this a game
of trust and eloquence
receiving on that day

Remember those times we
spent together
cross the line
seeking what i'm after
lost alone
beautiful disaster

I'm lost
alone in my
dreams
It shows
Reality has grown
(together) oh
On it's own
Forever
Forever

Remember those times we
spent together
cross the line
seeking what i'm after
lost alone
beautiful disaster

These walls will fade to grey
another empty day
is like a song so sweet
yet so wrong
"let go, just cry" she says
in light
enlighten me (oh)

My dreams
My dreams

Lost in my seclusion

Hope is fading
Life is grating
against my thoughts
against my mind
Oh it's looking bleak and writhing
Speak, it's just another
another empty day

Remember those times we
Spent together
Cross the line
Seeking what i'm after
lost alone
beautiful disaster

oh beautiful disaster
lyrical master
beautiful disaster.

i'm sinking.
I'm shaking.
I'm fading.

Slasher Movies

So I leave in 3 days.
I don't really know what to expect.
...ok actually I do.

Here's my scenario.

I get on the train here in Charleston at 9:40pm.
Leaves at 9:48

Around 11 pm I realize I forgot something.
fuck.

Well too late now.

I arrive in D.C. at 9:30 AM on the 27th.
I have to get my baggage, then re-check it in to Sandusky.

The lady said the Sandusky station is unmanned so...wait WHAT?
How the fuck do I go about doing that?
Really?

I'm going to be running around trying to find out how to check in baggage to an unclaimed station.

Oh , but now worries, I only have a 5 hour layover.
My train to Sandusky leaves at 5pm.
Getting me to Sandusky, Ohio at 3:45 AM.


So I get off the train.
It's freezing balls outside.
I get my two suitcases.
I get my two guitars.
And stand there, while the train drives off.

"Now what"

Well let me tell you what.
I've done my research.
I've looked up every cemetery/graveyard within ina 2 miles radius of that train station, and my destination is Sandhill Cemetery.


In one suitcase I packed clothes that are good enough to blaze through Antarctican (?) snow storms.
Only not really, because being from the south, I own no such gear.

So I'll be wearing two pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks, combat boots, gloves, 2 shirts, a leather jacket, and a hat.
My face, shall be numb.

In the other suitcase I will have a tent (rolled up, I'm not that dumb) A pillow, and a sleeping bag.

Oh....and a small lock.
Ok.
BIG lock.

Now I'm well aware some slasher, Jason, serial killer could just easily tear through the ridiculously thin polyester material of my tent with a knife and kill me, locking the zippers together just adds a small security.

and safety hazard...

What if 'Jason' DOES come to kill me and slay my entrails everywhere by ripping through the tent.
Well, I cant exactly get out of the tent door....flap..thing... because its LOCKED.
And EVERYONE knows in horror movies, you can never find what your looking for, i.e. the key.

So I'll go on to die as some nomadic teenager, with my intestines hanging from a tree branch like and early morning breakfast invitation for vultures.

(p.s. if you DO decide to kill me, can you atleast tuck my Drivers License into whatever....or..just... just leave it on me so people can identify me. k, thanks.)

I've had a few friends say they'd spend the night with me out there one night.
Like a camping trip.

(I love how the wind is literally HOWLING horror movie style outside my window right now, it has never done that before * cue twilight zone music*)

But I've got everything situated, and I think I'm overthinking everything.
Things will go well, I've just got to keep a positive mindset.

DOWNSIDE:
Wilderness/Graveyard=no electrical outlets....which means when my phone dies, it dies. when my laptop dies, it dies DEAD.

My laptop holds about...well..no charge.

Luckily there's a library not too far from the station I'm considering sleeping in front of until it opens.


Long entry, so sorry.


xxx
Nickblaqk

7 Days till Take-off!

So it's 7 days until I leave for Sandusky, Ohio.
Which, when I've spoken to most, have said "why Sandusky?"

Why, you ask?

Because I like quaint desolate towns full of nothing.
It's a great get away from the usual hustle and bustle of .....er....kind of city life.
Not that I'm too sure Summerville, South Carolina qualifies in the "City" tag.

I'm running on 2 hours of sleep from the night before.
You see, I was up all last night cleaning.

I don't clean.
Me cleaning, is not NORMAL.

Something's wrong.
Obviously.

Well, actually, I'm just excited.
But as 7am rolls around, I'm getting increasingly drowsy.
Alas! I have a doctors appointment at 10am today, and have to leave by 9am to get there on time.

The maid is coming, and always throws a fit if my rooms not clean.

Tell me please, what is the point of having a maid, if the maid doesn't clean.

What are yohse pills called?
That one's that make you stay awake?
In a yelow package?

Jeeeeeze! Look at all those typos!

yohse=those
yelow=yellow

I've packed one of my bags, it's a tight fit.

I've talked to people about where to stay.
They still all are trying to find places.
I'll probably end up staying in Sandhill Cemetary where my friend is going to bring my food and blankets and stuff.

....I'm wobbling back and forth....
...................so tired...................

I just thought I'd write a quick entry before I finish cleaning, and head off to my Dr. Appt.
How lovely.

I get to tell him I'm moving in 7 days.
I wonder what reaction I'll get out of him.

My Hands, My Heart, My Soul,

~Nick

So I'm starting it off well...

I'm starting my journey with a few things in hand.

Flip camcorder (fantastic by the way)
A bit of money.
Guitar.
Clothes.
Hat.
Shoes.
Tickets (I need to double check that.)

Fuck South Carolina.
Sandusky, Ohio.
Here I come.